Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Get in line, bitches...

Coz everybody wants a broad with a big ol' Frankensteiny gash across her throat.


There's a titanium plate and six screws in there, too. Hott.

I fly home on Thursday. I hope the hardware sets off the airport metal detectors.

17 Comments:

Anonymous tater said...

Yay! You're back! Did they give you any Bionic parts? That would totally kick some ass. I think scars are just body smiles, so your looking hot and happy to me little missy. It already looks like it's fading in, so I must hand it to your surgeon. You do realize, however, that this IS the perfect opportunity to get one of those Gangsta neck tattoos you've always wanted. A nice scripty "Helen the Felon" perhaps? I will if you will...I always support my peeps, yo. Peace!

Seriously though, hope this does the trick and all is well with you! It's so nice to have you back!

5:57 PM  
Blogger evilganome said...

Good to have you back, Frankenhelen! Don't laugh about the metal detectors, I have a friend with a metal shank in his leg, and yes, he sets off metal detectors. Can't wait to hear about the Utah experience.

3:34 AM  
Blogger Earl Cootie said...

Scars are sexy. I just want to run my fingers over them.

9:59 AM  
Blogger rodger said...

Hawt! Now you can make-up great stories about what you did to those bitches that cut you.

I hope the Mormons were good to you!

12:52 PM  
Blogger Becky C. said...

You are a creepy bitch.

So you are leaving the provinces and returning to America?

~Becky

5:49 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

I'm so glad to see you back! I've missed you so much. Your scar isn't bad...it makes you look mysterious.

Hugs,
Laurie

12:01 AM  
Blogger GayProf said...

Welcome Home! Just imagine the creative and fun stories that you will make up about the scar (Please be sure one of them involves a sword fight defending my life).

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Pixie said...

Love! Love! Love to you!
This just means that you get to work on your creative stories for where your new "life insignia" came from. Was it a prison fight? Was it a trick gone bad? Was it the time you spent helping to train with Siegfried & Roy's troubled tigers?! I am glad you are feeling better honey.

XOXO!

1:09 PM  
Blogger David said...

To attract guys: "I like creative hickies. Think you can match it?"

To repel unwanted advances: "I got tired of going with the wrists. I mean that's so 90's right?"

1:37 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

It could be a lot worse.

It could be vertical in instead of horizontal.

Glad to hear you're done with surgery!

5:13 PM  
Blogger BigAssBelle said...

oh poor pumpkin!! that little slice will fade away. you are beautiful. who gives a shit. it's just life. glad you're better. hugs.

11:54 PM  
Blogger 9W said...

wow - helluva scar. looks great tho'. scar's prove your alive. kinda sexy too (in that your a girl and i'm gay, but can appreciate a hot chick sort of way).

welcome back.

10:43 PM  
Anonymous tater said...

We need an update on Gradyface...

10:13 AM  
Blogger Da Nator said...

Just do what I do and tell everyone it's from when they removed your parasitic conjoined twin.

Have a great return trip & look me up when you get home, chickie.

3:58 PM  
Blogger RG said...

Welcome back. We've all be going through withdrawal waiting for your return. The scar is sexy.

10:48 AM  
Anonymous kiteless said...

Alright helen, make with the updates!

10:01 AM  
Blogger Limecrete said...

Pro: Girls with big ol' Frankensteiny gashes across their throats are hot. I want to take you out to a bar and intentionally start a fight with someone, just so I can call you over for backup.

Con: Yeah, after traveling with Mom With Two Bionic Knees, I can say that airports are even less fun when you've got metal bits in your body.

10:25 AM  

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