Saturday, June 09, 2007

Cinco de Helen

Today marks the fifth anniversary of my arrival in an unsuspecting New York City. I am astonished and more than a little disturbed at the speed with which five years of my life drained into the past.

My neck and back are still waaaay too fucked up for me to sit here and type for long, so I'll briefly sum up the last five years quite aptly by telling you this: Due to the appetite suppresant qualities of physical discomfort, I've dropped down to the weight of a healthy fifth grader. I know I'm a New Yorker, because I'm secretly thrilled that I live one of two cities on Earth (the other being L.A.) where this is considered a great personal achievement rather than a serious health concern.

It's sick and difficult and smelly and insane and wondrous and amazing, and I hate it as much as I adore it. I don't know how much longer I'll stay, but I'm fairly certain that I'll never regret the time I've spent here.


Blogger Da Nator said...

Congratulations! Next summer will mark my 20th year here in the ci-tay. I could plotz.

I'm so sorry you're still hurtin' and not eatin'. Want me to come by with some cinnamon rolls or something? That's what I do when people are unwell - I feed them. This is why Mrs. Nator is in more danger of gaining than losing weight while her back is out.

Hang in there, chica. Just remember: at least it's better than having your back out in North Dakota!

9:32 PM  
Blogger evilganome said...

Damn girl! I would throw my back out to loose 5 lbs. except it would interfere with my workout. Sigh. Seriously, I am sorry that you are still down. If I were there I'd be with Da Nator, shoveling food into you, that's what my people do, feed people. I'm like an Italian grandmother. "You only ate 2 plates of it. You don't like it. I'll go in the kitchen and make you something, what do you want? What do you mean you're full?" I hope you are feeling better soon.

12:20 PM  
Blogger Laurie said...

I'm seriously thinking of moving to Denver in the near future. I've fallen in love with that city. Hopefully in about 5.5 years I'll be able to announce my 5th anniversary there.

I hope your back feels better soon.


6:13 PM  
Anonymous Tater said...

Thank you for posting, despite the pain. You need to be fed. I am with DaNator and Tony, and would be shoveling the calories into you, starting with chicken noodle soup, and ending with chocolate eclairs. If not New York, Where would Helen Damnation like to live? Would it be back to Co, or would you West Coast it? If I were to relocate now, I would probably chose Northern California or Portland.

12:53 PM  
Blogger P/O said...

couldn't have expressed that any better myself.

hope your back gets batter...

2:47 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Oh wow. I can't believe it's been five years. I still remember walking home through Cheesman after stopping by your place.

Sorry to hear about your back.

4:42 PM  
Blogger Junk Thief said...

Gee, you're making me further nostalgic to live there again ('89-'93) A visit back last week has left me greatly longing to return after 12 years in SF. It's "okay" here but not New York. Then there's Barcelona...

6:00 PM  
Blogger David said...

We love you, too!

I became a full-fledged NY resident in 2000. I hope I never leave.

7:46 PM  
Blogger rodger said...

She lives!

You should take advantage of all the boys that want to feed you. Shit, I'd throw my back out if it meant folks would do my cooking!

Feel better!

7:48 PM  
Anonymous Bobby Whispers said...

At least I'm not the only one to debate how long I'll stay or where I would go next. Here's hoping your back gets better sooner than later.

9:23 AM  
Blogger BigAssBelle said...

well i've broken my self imposed blogsolation today to come check on you and here you are, all scrawny and hurting.

congrats on the anniversary. where were you before NYC?

so sorry you're in pain. i would secretly delight in the weight loss, of course, being disordered in that arena. i have severe pain in my toe as the result of a voluntary surgery and there was just a passing thought (or twenty) that if i developed osteomyelitis, a fairly common side effect of the surgery, i might waste away from pain.

see? you are physically sick and i am mentally ill. back into my isolation. so happy to see you propped up long enough to report in. get better . . .

1:50 PM  
Blogger GayProf said...

I am sorry that your back is still out of whack. At least you are living in a city that you love . . . and hate.

4:08 PM  
Blogger Rossi said...

hey welcome to nyc
ive been here for 26 years now
and am such a new yorker i feel like a walking woody allen flick
new york is like heroin
makes you sick for awhile
but then honey
youre hooked

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Yen Feng said...

Isn't New York just so. You love it and hate it, and that's the perfect relationship. Helen, I hope you feel better soon. This next month is going to very hectic for me. I'm going to VA on Friday for a week, then back for Pride Weekend and I'm wooshed to Singapore (Yes parental blackmail got to me) for a week, then to Miami. BUT I will be back in July, and I definitely want to grab a cuppa with you. :)

6:01 PM  
Blogger Colleen said...

I've been here 6.5 years and am ready for a break. But like you, I will never regret my years here...I'll regret the ongoing debt and the lack of owning a house, yes, but I think the commenter above likening it to heroin may be onto something...

4:13 PM  
Blogger Red7Eric said...

I always thought I'd live in New York someday, but honestly? I'm too old. Unless you've lived there your whole life, I think there's a window for that kinda thing, and well ... it's younger than I am. DC certainly feels like a big city, compared to the small towns and military bases of my youth, but I know it's not the same ...

11:40 PM  

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