Holy Week in the Ninth Circle
To mark the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, or, like, the invention of the Cadbury Creme Egg, or something...whatever Easter is about, man, I dunno...but anyway, to mark it, I bring you an interactive map of pretty much every bar in New York City, thanks to NY on Tap.
It just seemed like I should give y'all a gift.
It's what the Easter Bunny would do, I think.
It just seemed like I should give y'all a gift.
It's what the Easter Bunny would do, I think.
posted by Helen the Felon at 9:05 PM
11 Comments:
Dude, that picture is SO sick.
Hi, I love you.
Wow, that map is, like, crucial!
Well. Apparently we are both so going to burn in hell! I'll bring the marshmellows, chocolate, and graham crackers, if you'll bring a pointy stick.
A friend's family has a traditional easter egg hunt with those little plastic eggs, but instead of candy, the eggs are stuffed with slips of paper. One redeems the paper for the little airline bottles of hootch. Totally not kidding. Can you tell his dad was in advertising? Shameless boozehounds (their entire family)!
YAY, Easter!
so since you're down there in the 9th circle, can you have a word with that horned bastard who created those fucking cadbury eggs? good god those are addictive. and they're actually nasty, kind of, but i'm not even safe walking near them. now we're going to have to go through a month of torture while they're sitting next ot the cash register, half price. fucking eggs.
I have discovered to my disgust that I have become immune to Cadbury Eggs. I ate one this year. Nothing. This is what clean living can bring you to. Is this fair I ask? Tell that skanky bunny to stop hogging the bottle, I need a drink.
Those eggs really are pure (smooth, delicious) evil, even if Jesus did invent them.
Thing is, I have several ex-boyfriends I need to devastate at an upcoming event, so I'm staying away from both booze, AND chocolate right now. Thus, I did not even leave my house for Easter. And I am sooooooo fuckin' cranky, hoo wee.
Stupid Jesus and his bunny and his chocolate eggs...
That map is missing a key bar in my neighbourhood - the one with the BBQ.
Do you really have to be skinny to devastate boys? I know I like my wimmins with a few Cadbury eggs' worth of curves on them. And dykely as I am, the bit of male attention I do get is most often attributable to several Easter baskets' worth of junk in the trunk.
Besides, what's more devastating to an old boyfriend than looking happy? Don't deny yourself the simple pleasures, darlin', I'm just sayin'...
Nator, you raise a good point, but believe me, it's all part of the plan...let me clarify:
I need to be skinny when I get there, so I can eat the tons and tons of Mexican food I miss so badly here in NY. All that eating will bring so much bliss that the exes will be devastated by the joyful life I clearly live without them.
See, I know whats Imma doin'.
Okay, really good Mexican food is worth a little sacrifice. Besides, you'll need tequila to wash down all that tasty goodness.
Da Nator does have a point though. Our Office Babe is Marilyn Monroe shaped and I gotta say, if I was battin' for the other team.... even so I still find myself lookin' at the twins. Ya can't help it.
My Easter was made for hangover recovery. Damn hooch.
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