Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Fat, gay, or nerdy?

I am considering purchasing a Wii. I hate video games, but have concluded that this may be the only way I will ever get any exercise of any kind ever, ever again.

Check that. It's one of two ways I will ever get any exercise of any kind ever, ever again. The other would be to marry Jackie Warner, and subsequently spend every possible moment of the rest of my life letting her, uh, you me out. Yeah.

Helloooooooo nurse.

Note: Continuing my current program of laying around in my desperately stretched-out underwear, eating pizza and drinking red wine, is an option that is still under careful consideration.


Blogger Da Nator said...

Hey, what's wrong with being fat, gay AND nerdy? Hmph.

I am pretty much alternately scared by and pitying Jackie Warner. I can't believe she let the camera tape her in couples counselling for her fucked-up relationship. Should I feel sorry for her or just consider her a famewhore? On the other hand, I couldn't make myself turn it off. It was like watching a train wreck.

Sometimes I think L.A. lesbians are a whole 'nother species. Maybe they really all do behave like the 'tards on The L Word...

4:36 PM  
Blogger Helen the Felon said...

You know, it never occurred to me that I could be all three. New goal! YAAAAAY!

5:02 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Great, now I am going to have 'White And Nerdy' stuck in my head.

7:08 PM  
Anonymous Tater said...

If Jackie Warner had a smaller than average penis, she could be my first boyfriend from college! I stayed in that frienship longer than intended, because I could scrub my dirty laundry on those washboard abs! Fortunately, I met a less lean man with a much bigger penis, and dropped the laundry off at the cleaners...

7:57 PM  
Blogger evilganome said...

I would continue with the pizza and red wine diet. Forget about the Wii, it will wind up like those exercise bikes that fulfill their true purpose as clothes racks.

Oh yeah, Tater, you're a far more patient man than I am. I mean I'm all for quality over quantity, but the well built tend to be such lousy sex.

9:29 AM  
Blogger lioux said...

Co-Worker Dan has a Nintendo™ Oui®™©™!

1:36 PM  
Blogger Red7Eric said...

Yeah, even I think Jackie's sorta hot. Is the show back on Bravo? Might need to tune in. Too bad one of the really cute gay trainers died. Super sad.

3:06 PM  
Blogger Limecrete said...

You know, it never occurred to me that I could be all three. New goal! YAAAAAY!

In that case, your new trainer Get to work! No more trendy bars! Subscribe to an online video game! Eat an entire pack of Cadbury Creme Eggs! Now, now, now!

10:24 PM  
Blogger BigAssBelle said...

jackie is hot and gorgeous, even to this straight cow.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Becky C. said...

Well Da Nart, lets not be all Woody Allen--Left Coast Lesbians can be alright--Jackie can work me over any time she wishes.


3:05 AM  
Anonymous kyle said...

you fuckin' crack me up - lovin' this... (jackie scares me tho')

3:04 PM  

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