Fat, gay, or nerdy?
Check that. It's one of two ways I will ever get any exercise of any kind ever, ever again. The other would be to marry Jackie Warner, and subsequently spend every possible moment of the rest of my life letting her, uh, you know...work me out. Yeah.
Note: Continuing my current program of laying around in my desperately stretched-out underwear, eating pizza and drinking red wine, is an option that is still under careful consideration.