Helen Damnation, Future CEO
The last one, sent a few weeks ago, was "what's the longest word that can be typed using only one line on a keyboard?" My answer was, of course, "aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."
Her reply was concise and direct: "You, miss, are a complete retard."
Today, Miss Thang sent another one. I pondered it for awhile, and proceeded to send a thoughtful, potentially correct response, along with a critical query:
"Miss Thang...am I still a complete retard?"
It took her longer than I expected to respond. Clearly she was giving this question some serious thought. After an hour or so, I received her reply:
"Well, honey...the jury's still out on whether you're a complete retard. But you're a pretty retard, nonetheless."
My response, in contrast to Miss Thang's, was almost immediate:
"I like ponies!"