Helen Damnation, Future CEO
There's a woman in my office we'll call Miss Thang. She's quite funny, a bit older than me, and has a reputation for tellin' it like it is. Occasionally, Miss Thang sends out little "brain teaser" emails to a few of us, to help pass the time we're already wasting miserably in our pathetic corporate jobs.
The last one, sent a few weeks ago, was "what's the longest word that can be typed using only one line on a keyboard?" My answer was, of course, "aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."
Her reply was concise and direct: "You, miss, are a complete retard."
Today, Miss Thang sent another one. I pondered it for awhile, and proceeded to send a thoughtful, potentially correct response, along with a critical query:
"Miss Thang...am I still a complete retard?"
It took her longer than I expected to respond. Clearly she was giving this question some serious thought. After an hour or so, I received her reply:
"Well, honey...the jury's still out on whether you're a complete retard. But you're a pretty retard, nonetheless."
My response, in contrast to Miss Thang's, was almost immediate:
"I like ponies!"
The last one, sent a few weeks ago, was "what's the longest word that can be typed using only one line on a keyboard?" My answer was, of course, "aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."
Her reply was concise and direct: "You, miss, are a complete retard."
Today, Miss Thang sent another one. I pondered it for awhile, and proceeded to send a thoughtful, potentially correct response, along with a critical query:
"Miss Thang...am I still a complete retard?"
It took her longer than I expected to respond. Clearly she was giving this question some serious thought. After an hour or so, I received her reply:
"Well, honey...the jury's still out on whether you're a complete retard. But you're a pretty retard, nonetheless."
My response, in contrast to Miss Thang's, was almost immediate:
"I like ponies!"
posted by Helen the Felon at 3:55 PM
14 Comments:
'I try to pity you' can be typed on one line.
You can also write: 'Teepee it'.
Ooh, this is kind of fun.
'Rope it up'
'Queue to pee'
'Tier two putter'
For the record, the correct answer was, semi-ironically, "typewriter".
I like "queue to pee" better, though. Nice work, Big Daddy.
Oh, oops. I thought what is the longest sentence you can type on one row.
Ass may not be the longest word but it certainly is the coolest.
Well your smart and pretty, my psychic powers the aliens bestowed on me during my anal probing, or a night a the baths assure me of it.
I like Ponies!
You just made me laugh so hard, that I farted!
Ask Miss Thang Smarty Pants what the longest word that can be typed with two fingers? (using correctly assigned finger keystrokes, natch) I've been waiting for YEARS to share this little nugget: honolulu.
LOL! :)
Ponies ARE pretty cool.
I like My Little Pony ponies. You can brush and style their pretty, pretty hair.
Intelligence fades eventually. Beauty is forever.
Love,
Anna Nicole
I like ponies, too. Ass ponies.
It's nice to know you are complete. So many of us spend our lives incomplete.
don't we all, honey, don't we all. ponies.
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