Thursday, May 17, 2007

Helen DARES to keep kids off drugs

What would you do if you randomly found a small but not unsubstantial quantity of high-grade marijuana...I'm talking stinky, sticky, bright green, red-hair-laden hydroponic chronic...lying unattended in the vestibule of your apartment building?

I'd like to think that my fair readers...a conscientious, morally unflappable group, by any standards...would do just as I did, and appropriately dispose of the offending specimen, post haste. FOR THE CHILDREN, people...for the children.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must dispatch to locate some antiacid medication. It seems that the three bags of Cheetos, half a large pizza, and two Snickers bars I ingested last evening have elected to disagree with my somewhat delicate digestive system.


Blogger Big Dan said...

Good job, keep the kids off drugs. More for us.

2:17 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy/Buzzsaw Pete said...

I found a joint on the street the other day.

I, however, believe in enabling kids, so I left it.

3:05 PM  
Blogger evilganome said...

Helen, your spirit of self sacrifice never ceases to amaze me. Where others shirk, Helen is unafraid to go. Even at the expense of her own wellbeing. You are truly noble and I salute you. *stoner*

3:20 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

I feel sorry for the kids. If not for people leaving things lying around, I never would have had the experiences I did. Big Daddy/Buzzsaw Pete is wonderful man. HELP EDUCATE THE CHILDREN!

12:38 AM  
Blogger Shan said...

Quick, someone give this woman an award or sumthin.

7:58 AM  
Anonymous RG said...

There is nothing like putting Ketchup on both sides of the fridge and swallowing it whole during a good buzz! Nice save the children move!

1:20 PM  
Anonymous Tater said...

Just my two cents, but I really think you did the noble thing here. I don't want to toot my own horn, but while in college, I saved my brother countless times from the evil weed that was lurking in his sock drawer. I took the high road however, and let my mom take the credit for his salvation.

2:27 PM  
Blogger Big Ass Belle said...

what a noble, self sacrificing woman. i salute you. it almost makes up for the cat.

7:06 PM  
Blogger JaneDoughnut said...

I think you did the right thing. Pass the salsa.

7:46 PM  
Blogger yellow_mustard_girl said...

You are truly my hero.

In fact, you have inspired me to dispose of my own stinky green shame posthaste.

Luckily, I have 2 boxes of Frosted Mini Wheats and a gallon of Mudpie ice cream to aid in my disposal.

It feels good to make a difference.

12:22 AM  
Blogger Da Nator said...

I don't know. What if your pizza box says "Say No to Drugs?" Mine did last night.

You are lucky. I'd probably just giggle and leave it there, because pot always made me throw up.

Don't worry. I discovered that there's nothing like a little coke bump to cure nausea!

(Y'know. Before I was old.)

6:26 AM  
Blogger David said...

Your heroism and courage is an inspiration to others. You saved some children from the evils of drugs, and taught some stoner a very important lesson about keeping track of one's stash.

4:51 PM  
Blogger Red7Eric said...

What can I say that hasn't already been said so eloquently by others? Nancy Reagan would be VERY proud.

8:33 AM  
Blogger Colleen said...

I have done this selfless act as well, the two times this has happened to me while out in public. We are very responsible citizens!

3:39 PM  
Blogger Shan said...

Thank you for reintroducing me to awesome words like traipsing.

I will traipse more often.

11:43 PM  

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