Sunday, July 08, 2007

A brief hiatus from the hiatus

Today is the seventh anniversary of my mother's successful lung transplant.

Here in sunny southern Utah, we celebrated with cake and ice cream. Then I whupped her ass at Scrabble a couple times.

It's difficult now, remembering the time that led up to the transplant. She was sick and suffered for many years, and had maybe three months to live when she got the lung. Another family's painful loss was the miracle we'd been waiting for. I've never been able to sufficiently describe the conflicting swirl of emotions that stirred up. I won't try again now.

Even more difficult is imagining what life would have been like these past seven years without her. She's almost 70. She's raised her kids, done her duty, and more than earned her retirement. She lives with aches and pains and medication regimens that would leave the average person crying in a corner. In spite of all that, she's spent the last couple of weeks caring for me day and night, feeding me, bathing me, holding my hand when I was scared and in pain, worrying about me, and making it all better. She's still my mom, and would not have it any other way.

Over the past seven years, we've managed to work out our issues, stop fighting, and become friends. When I'm at home, we talk on the phone every day. We make each other laugh, and we finally trust each other. I tell her nearly everything. Had you borne witness to our relationship ten years ago, you'd know that this is a whole 'nother miracle, in and of itself.

It is truly mystifying, the things that time can do. Whether these years have been borrowed or bought or stolen, I don't know. All I know is that we've been extraordinarily fortunate to have them, and that I am immeasurably thankful. Helen loves her mom, y'all.

Okay, hiatus on.

PS...I'm doing okay, slowly getting better. Photos of my gnarly scar pending.

I appreciate all of your kind wishes and emails and phone calls and dirty jokes and whatnot. That sort of stuff is remarkably helpful when one feels like crap. Thanks kids.


Blogger Laurie said...

Helen, I'm so glad you are starting to feel better. That is wonderful news. The story you told of your relationship with your mother is incredibly heartwarming. I'm so glad you have had these years with her. Here's wishing you many, many more.

Healing Hugs,

11:42 PM  
Blogger lioux said...

Moms are AWESOME!!!

Glad to hear you're doing better!

12:44 PM  
Blogger David said...

Time doesn't always heal all wounds, but sometimes it does some pretty dandy triage. Glad to hear you are in good hands. Brooklyn misses you.

1:15 PM  
Blogger Big Dan said...

Awesome. I hope to have that with my mom one day.

Glad to hear you're doing alright.

4:46 PM  
Anonymous tater said...

So glad to hear from you sweetheart, and am happy for the brief hiatus from your hiatus (there's a dirty joke in there somewhere). How to reply to your post on your mom without sounding cliche'? Time heals most wounds, as long as you are able to accept fallibility and move on. It's amazing what the trials of your own life reveal under the scarred layers, about those you know and love. I am guessing your own difficulties allowed you to see the parallels in your mom's life too. No matter the reason, it is a cause to celebrate and revel in. Happy reveling. Thanks for the update and your words of gratitude, you made me a little happier today.

5:12 PM  
Blogger evilganome said...

Helen, glad to hear you are on the mend! We miss you sooooo much! Besides you know Grady is getting all sorts of big without you around and is probably hanging out with bad influences and all, ya' know, without you there to guide his little kitty morals.

Glad to hear that your Mom is taking good care of you, and you two have managed to work things out. Come home soon!

8:51 PM  
Blogger GayProf said...

I am glad that your mom has been there for you. Keep getting better! The scar will come in handy if you ever get into a competition like the one feature in Jaws.

12:57 PM  
Blogger Sally said...

Hello! I found your blog by chance!
I'm happy you are getting better. I kinda "envy" your relationship with your mom. With my mom, I had a great relationship until she knew that I had a girlfriend... has never been the same ever since.
Hope you feel better and recover fast.
I'll link your blog to my little blog if you don't mind, so I can come visit again! Take care and have a fast and happy recovery!
Hugs from Berlin.

8:49 AM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Heal quick!

Get better soon!

6:57 PM  
Blogger P/O said...

wow, my own unplanned "hiatus" made me miss out on yours (and everything that led up to it)!

thank you for this beautiful post. it served as a reminder of things i often forget. i'm so glad you and your mom have each other, and i hope your recovery continues to go well.

(i also hope you're enjoying some kickass meds.)

12:45 PM  
Blogger rodger said...

You're more fortunate than even you know my friend. I lost my mother when I was 24 and miss her every day. I would have loved to have this type of relationship with her.

Relish it girl, you are very so is your mom!

Heal fast, I miss you!

5:44 PM  
Blogger Amaya said...

Such a sweet sentiment.

5:02 PM  
Blogger Red7Eric said...

Glad to hear that you're getting better, and that the old battle axe (um, your mom who you love very much) is being such a great help.

See you when you get back!!

(How's the kitty?)

6:55 PM  
Blogger Becky C. said...

Thanks Helen--what nice thoughts for me to go to bed with. All my best.


5:21 AM  
Blogger farmboyz said...

Mend. Come back soon. (My mother and I do not speak. This is the highest form of civility of which we are capable toward each other.)

8:16 PM  
Blogger missbhavens said...

Welcome back! Aaaaaand see ya later!


Glad things are going your way.

2:36 PM  
Blogger BigAssBelle said...

HI CUPCAKE!!!! so happy you've got a mom to take care of you. and happy that you're doing relatively well. i've had my head up far inside the dark, moist place. have been thinking about you and sending those promised prayers :-) . . .

6:42 PM  
Blogger Shan said...


Come back soon Helen.

I need something profoundly funny to read.

12:03 AM  
Blogger Becky C. said...

Hi Helen on Hiatus

10:43 AM  

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