Written in the stars, my ass
Here is your horoscope for Thursday, June 21:
The most difficult situations or people are often the best teachers. Can you push aside your ego and pay attention to the lesson the universe is trying to give you? Once you learn it, you'll be in on the joke.
This shit is no longer funny. Kindly enlighten me on this little joke of yours, before I punch you in the nuts. Assuming that you have nuts, that is.
But seriously...enough already. My back is fucking killing me, my apartment's a mess, my cat hates me, my hair is frizzing, my credit rating is all shot to shit, and I look like a scarecrow with tits. Ego, schmego. Hook a bitch up.
Love only slightly marred by bitter, deep-seated resentment,