Friday, June 22, 2007

Written in the stars, my ass

Dear Helen,
Here is your horoscope for Thursday, June 21:

The most difficult situations or people are often the best teachers. Can you push aside your ego and pay attention to the lesson the universe is trying to give you? Once you learn it, you'll be in on the joke.

-----------

Dear Universe,
This shit is no longer funny. Kindly enlighten me on this little joke of yours, before I punch you in the nuts. Assuming that you have nuts, that is.

But seriously...enough already. My back is fucking killing me, my apartment's a mess, my cat hates me, my hair is frizzing, my credit rating is all shot to shit, and I look like a scarecrow with tits. Ego, schmego. Hook a bitch up.

Love only slightly marred by bitter, deep-seated resentment,

Helen

7 Comments:

Blogger Laurie said...

My life sucks right now in so many ways, but at least my back doesn't hurt!

Dayum girl, what does your doctor say? I've got a really good chiropractor, but you'll have to come to eastern MT to see him and visit me while you are here of course.

I promise that none of my 6 cats will hate you. In fact, you will probably wish that they did by the end of your visit.

9:52 PM  
Blogger Shan said...

How the universe affects our lives is a funny thing.

Funny like strange and weird though. Not funny ha-ha.

Would never dream of finding your problems funny ha-ha.

But then again please don't think I'd find them funny-strange/weird either.

Urk my head hurts...

6:48 AM  
Blogger Red7Eric said...

Well, Morrissey would say quit your job, and get drunk.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2soa_the-smiths-heaven-knows

Have you tried that??

10:23 AM  
Blogger evilganome said...

What's up with Mr. Physical (wink,wink) Therapist? Why isn't he getting you back on your feet, or whatever position you prefer? Where are all the people that should be bringing you food, doing your hair and doing all those little things that need to be done? The cat? Nothing can be done about that, they sort of hate everyone just on principle. Alice acts like she never gets fed or gets any attention.

And you're right, this isn't funny anymore. I hope that your doctor, or therapist or somebody figures something out for you soon. Feel better and get on the phone and guilt some friends into at least feeding you.

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Tater said...

What EG said!

So sorry the fates are still fucking you (in an unpleasant way). Have the asshat physicians been able to give you any relief or prognosis for recovery? I am sending you my best get well thoughts.

9:52 PM  
Blogger David said...

Considering the universe already punched me in the nuts, I feel ya'.

1:36 PM  
Blogger Da Nator said...

So sorry, girlfriend. The universe is telling you to take extra good care of yourself, and when you feel better, to start living life doing what matters to you. At least that's what it was telling me when my back was fucked. Don't my lessons apply to everybody?

Keep us posted... hugs.

11:11 PM  

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