Monday, October 23, 2006

Reality Bites

Now that I've sufficiently calmed myself in the wake of the madly aggravating Project Runway finale, let us discuss, briefly.

The fact is, when it comes to competition-based reality television, the contestant I hate the most is invariably destined to win. It started with Richard Hatch, the child-abusing, tax-evading, ugly-naked bag of stinking Survivor crap. It continued with almost every season of Big Brother, and let's not even talk about Rockstar: Supernova. I'm hoping it ends with Jeffrey Sebelia, the faux-punk, bullshit hard-luck story, pathetically arrogant, horribly untalented ugly handbag of Project Runway crap. Because I doubt that it will, I hereby announce the dissolution my relationship with any and all said reality shows. It's just too annoying. (And believe me, I know how utterly stupid it is that I find it that annoying. One more reason to slowly...back...away.)

I mean, does Heidi Klum expect America to take its fashion cues from someone with a fucking neck tattoo? Seriously? Michael, Nina...come on now. The guy managed to make a six-foot-two-inch anorexic model look like a fat man with osteoporosis. How is that fashionable, exactly? Is there a run on sickly and/or obese men these days that I've somehow missed? Should I look for John Goodman in next month's issue of Vogue? Will he have a new neck tattoo to show us?

Fuck it. Guess this means I'll have to consider leaving the house every once in awhile.

Tell you whut, though...I still wish Tim Gunn was my gay uncle.


Blogger Rick Andreoli said...

I was totally bugged, too, and yet I couldn't stop watching. And I know I'll come back, if for no other reason than wanting Tim Gunn to be my best friend when I go to NYC.

9:16 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

So who did you think should have one? Just curious. Dare I suggest Top Chef?

1:04 AM  
Blogger Tom said...


10:37 AM  
Blogger Da Nator said...

I agree - Jeffrey's stuff was not that exciting, and largely derivative. I had the sinking feeling, however, that he was going to win when, in the 1st part of the finale, they suddenly changed the editing to try to protray him in a sympathetic light.

I think Laura should have won. Yes, she was a bit one-note in being classic, but her craftsmanship and elegance were great. Michael would have been my favoured winner, until his runway show ended up all bougie rap-star-on-the-red-carpet over the top. Uli won the runway finale hands down - her collection was absolutely beautiful - but over the season she was too one-note with all the crazy-print halter dresses. I guess the judges found Laura too boring overall and thus picked Jeffrey, whose collection was, I thought, dull.

Feh. And: what an asshole.

I am now getting a neck tattoo, to see if that helps me get ahead in life.

2:15 PM  
Blogger GayProf said...

He cheated. You know it. I know it. The American people know it. Cheater.

Do you have any evidence that Tim Gunn isn't your gay uncle?

2:28 PM  
Blogger rodger said...

They did it to get back at Laura for accusing him of not doing all the work on his clothes, which he obviously didn't, and bitch Uli lost her backbone in backing Laura up.

Fuck 'em all...I'm on to Top Chef for now.

7:59 PM  
Blogger Limecrete said...

Eh, Top Chef is OK, but if you thought hating a contestant is annoying, just imagine what you go through when you hate one of the judges. Top Chef has the bizarro Tim Gunn, a man I would cheerfully push into an open manhole.

And yeah...Jeffrey? What the fuck?

10:36 AM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

At least Jay won Season One. But I agree with you on all others. I refuse to watch Big Brother again, for this very reason.

Tim Gunn is everyone's gay uncle, and Robert Best is our husband.

2:20 PM  

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