Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Reason #383 why I am and shall remain single

Because I keep finding gems like this in my Friendster inbox (note: I copied and pasted, making no edits...brilliance like this is beyond my abilities):

Hi Cool Babe,
Hope this email finds you in good health, I come across your Profile In This Site And I Have interest In You beside your picture attracted me a lot and i deem it very very necessary to get in touch with you for a long-lasting relationship. beside My name is Remmy 32yrs old male, has decent hobbies like Tour, Music,reading, swimmimg and travelling and i desires to make long-lasting friendship with you. Do you think age, colour or distance is any bar to make such friendly relationship with you? If not, then stretch your hand to me and accept mine. i believe this enchanting relation will certainly bring the pleasure in our life for unlimited time. on the contrary, I hope to find that special person in you, and someone with whom I can create the real relation I’ve always wanted, If you feel like we will be friends fine and please mail me back so that I will forward you my photos and Introduce myself to you more, So from there we will get to know each other very well .Mail me with this email address (redacted, because even I'm not THAT mean) There is only one happiness in life,to love and be loved.
I will always remain yours in love.
Big Kisess And Huggs! .
Remmy M
As an added bonus, here's the photo from my new lovah's profile...

Isn't he lovely?? And on sale, even! Does it get any better than this??

Sadly, no. I don't believe it does.

Too bad he lives in France. Moving's gonna be a bitch.

10 Comments:

Blogger Da Nator said...

Oh, come on. How can you resist stamens and microsporangia like that? Pack up your Roundup and some Gauloises and get out there.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

And you're not snatching this one away from the rest of the world?! Oh, the humanity....

4:12 PM  
Anonymous Glenn said...

I deem it very necessary that you get hobbies like Tour with him.

He's straight. Right?

5:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, if he's not straight, would ya mind passing him on to me? I'd love to Tour in France with a real relation.

Nick

10:22 AM  
Blogger farmboyz said...

"Then stretch your hand to me", Helen, and I will stretch mine and neither one of us will ever wear the same glove size again, together.

1:29 PM  
Blogger David said...

What a shame he isn't gay. Truly a loss.

3:13 PM  
Blogger David said...

Helen,

Read this and consider yourself lucky.

http://www.joelderfner.com/blog/

3:22 PM  
Blogger Shan said...

Pity he didn't do the Nacho Libre routine of big kiss leetle kiss big hug leetle hug

That would have made it more complete i reckon - one "Big Kisess And Huggs!" doesn't really quite do it.

12:18 AM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Too bad he's not gay and British. I would do anything to get out of this country until '08.

10:29 PM  
Blogger Jacob Miles said...

I think I know that guy - I gave him my bank account number so he could transfer 15 million dollars into the country because he's been exiled from his kingdom. He should be depositing the money in a couple days - god, what a sucker this guy is. Can't wait to quit my job.

1:51 AM  

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