Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Penis envy?

So I finally break down and do the celebrity face match thing on MyHeritage.com, only to discover that I look just like Chad Michael Murray.

Suicide impending. I recommend submitting your claims on my stuff now; I'd hate for battles over my Wolverine telephone and crappy Ikea furniture to erupt amongst my loved ones after I'm gone.

But hey, at least now I understand why the gays love me. I'm a damn fine piece of man-meat.

Nice tit.

16 Comments:

Blogger P/O said...

???

that is so bizarre... i mean, i think i was drunk the night i met you, but still! somehow, i just don't remember you looking like this.

2:07 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Hee hee. I find it funny how people break down out of curiousity on the MyHeritage thing. It could be worse, it could have said you looked like Jason Biggs like it did me.

2:34 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

At the risk of meeting the business end of one of your saucy shoes, I think you look rather more like Posh in the previous post.

2:43 PM  
Blogger GayProf said...

It said that I looked like Quentin Tarantino, Rubben Studdard, and Aaron Kwok. Unknown to me, I am quite the Afro-Anglo-Asian mix (but nobody with, you know, my actual ethnic break downs). That technology blows.


I still want your X-Men phone, but only if Wolvy has his shirt off.

2:50 PM  
Blogger Helen the Felon said...

P/O:Clearly you were totally wasted, because comuters are always right.

Barney: Thank you. I feel better. And you look nothing like Jason Biggs. (Recall that I have seen you naked.)

Tom: Me and my saucy shoes will deal with you later.

GP: Well, Ruben's kind of a Latino name, so they were close, or something. And the Loganphone is totally clothed, so I'll will it to a straight guy. But you can totally have my cat.

For the record, I entered a photo of Ian McShane in to the MyHeritage thingy to see if it said he looked like Ian McShane. Closest it got was John Wayne.

But the truly fucked up thing is...I kinda DO look like Chad Michael Murray. Minus the washboard abs and the cock-n-balls, of course. I always knew I shoulda been a teen idol. Too bad I got old and fat instead. (And by fat, I mean size zero.)

3:38 PM  
Blogger David said...

I knew I liked you for some reason.

6:28 PM  
Blogger Big Dan said...

I've got dibs on the shower head.

9:16 AM  
Blogger Earl Cootie said...

I don't know who this Chad Michael Murray is, but the pics I've seen of you are way cuter.

10:20 AM  
Blogger David said...

Tried it last night.

P.G. Wodehouse and Tony Blair.

Chad Michael Murray? Boo-fuckin-hoo.

2:21 PM  
Blogger Helen the Felon said...

David, the only person I can think of who looks LESS like Tony Blair than you is Oprah fucking Winfrey. That's just...no.

But hey, at least you got someone of the same gender...

4:58 PM  
Blogger MEK the Bear said...

Oh god... Artie Shaw? *groan*... why do you make me do these things Helen, WHY?!?

5:00 PM  
Blogger Helen the Felon said...

I had a mad crush on Artie Shaw, back in the days when he was a judge on the Gong Show. True story. Too bad you're gay, MEK.

1:29 PM  
Blogger Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

umm, if you do decide to do the deed, I've been looking for an endtable and one of those '70's lamps that reach to the ceiling and double as a plant hanger. For some reason I just know you've got one or more of these. Oh, and an Avocado green fridge.
I'm restraining myself with difficulty on the chad michael murray pic. I could do a really filthy riff on that one without half trying.

3:31 PM  
Blogger Da Nator said...

You get Chad and I get Chiang Kai-Shek. Wonderful.

The creepy thing is, I really am Chiang Kai-Shek.

10:29 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

Au, contraire, mi amor. Chad Michael Murray looks like *you*.

8:35 PM  
Anonymous D-town Jen said...

So, I put my mug in there and here are all the people i look like...brace yourself.

Hunter Tylo, Sienna Miller, Sandra Bullock,Scarlett Johansson (i wish), Jamie Pressly, Celia Cruse (?!?!), JEFF GORDON (what the fuck?), Alyson Hannigan, CONDOLEEZZA RICE (i do not have gaped teeth).

That site is blind a cruel. I ain't no beauty queen but I'm not Jeff Gordon or Condoleezza either. I'm going to go price some plastic surgery now.

6:00 PM  

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