Dear Christian,
Since today is your 26th birthday, and since I'm an asshole & didn't get you a present, I thought I'd write about you here so that you and all (two) of my readers will know how exactly how wonderful I think you are.
First and foremost, you're one of the kindest and most laid-back individuals I've ever come across. And honey, you know that I've come across a LOT of individuals. You have a way of engaging people, making them feel instantly comfortable...you ask them questions and make the effort to get to know new people, bring them into your conversations, make them laugh...And the best part is, you do it not just to be polite or charming, but because you're genuinely interested in others. It's important to you that everyone around you--across all lines of age, ethnicity, sexual preference, attractiveness, whatever--is as happy as possible. It's amazing. Every time I make a new friend, I can't wait to introduce the person to you. And inevitably, that person ends up raving about you later on.
Second, you are a solid friend, a solid person, in every respect. You can be counted on to do the right thing, even when it's more difficult than the other options. You're honest. You're funny as hell. You treat people the way you want and deserve to be treated. I mean, come on...we met in the midst of gay club scene insanity amongst a bunch of cracked-out chuckleheads...and yet now, years later, we live 2000 miles away from there and our lives have changed completely, and I can still trust you with anything. You know some rotten secrets about me, and as time goes on, you're sure to know more...I have this picture of us giggling to each other before one or the other of us gets married over all of the naughty little things the groom will never know...You've seen me at my best and worst, and yet you've never judged me or put me down. I can laugh with you over the most grossly inappropriate things, or cry with you over...whatever...knowing that what's between us is just between us. I can truly count on you. That's rare, and important, and a luxury you provide to every one of your friends.
Third...you are one fine ass bitch. Damn. If I was a gay man, there would be nowhere for you to run, baby. It's so nice to always show up with the cutest boy in the place, even if he isn't my boyfriend. (And if your parents are right and you do MAGICALLY become hetero now that you're 26, I better be the first one you call.)
All in all, you, Christian, are a gift. You have the presence and wisdom of a great man, the open, loving heart of a happy child, and the talent, brains and determination to take you wherever you want. In the past couple of years, you've absolutely blown up...you're grabbing onto your life, taking what you want from it, and giving more and more back all the time. Thank you for letting me stick around to watch, and partake, and call you my friend. I love you, sweetheart.
Happy Birthday!
First and foremost, you're one of the kindest and most laid-back individuals I've ever come across. And honey, you know that I've come across a LOT of individuals. You have a way of engaging people, making them feel instantly comfortable...you ask them questions and make the effort to get to know new people, bring them into your conversations, make them laugh...And the best part is, you do it not just to be polite or charming, but because you're genuinely interested in others. It's important to you that everyone around you--across all lines of age, ethnicity, sexual preference, attractiveness, whatever--is as happy as possible. It's amazing. Every time I make a new friend, I can't wait to introduce the person to you. And inevitably, that person ends up raving about you later on.
Second, you are a solid friend, a solid person, in every respect. You can be counted on to do the right thing, even when it's more difficult than the other options. You're honest. You're funny as hell. You treat people the way you want and deserve to be treated. I mean, come on...we met in the midst of gay club scene insanity amongst a bunch of cracked-out chuckleheads...and yet now, years later, we live 2000 miles away from there and our lives have changed completely, and I can still trust you with anything. You know some rotten secrets about me, and as time goes on, you're sure to know more...I have this picture of us giggling to each other before one or the other of us gets married over all of the naughty little things the groom will never know...You've seen me at my best and worst, and yet you've never judged me or put me down. I can laugh with you over the most grossly inappropriate things, or cry with you over...whatever...knowing that what's between us is just between us. I can truly count on you. That's rare, and important, and a luxury you provide to every one of your friends.
Third...you are one fine ass bitch. Damn. If I was a gay man, there would be nowhere for you to run, baby. It's so nice to always show up with the cutest boy in the place, even if he isn't my boyfriend. (And if your parents are right and you do MAGICALLY become hetero now that you're 26, I better be the first one you call.)
All in all, you, Christian, are a gift. You have the presence and wisdom of a great man, the open, loving heart of a happy child, and the talent, brains and determination to take you wherever you want. In the past couple of years, you've absolutely blown up...you're grabbing onto your life, taking what you want from it, and giving more and more back all the time. Thank you for letting me stick around to watch, and partake, and call you my friend. I love you, sweetheart.
Happy Birthday!
posted by Helen the Felon at 2:47 PM
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