Thursday, February 22, 2007

Countdown to Saturgay

I'm about to have the most stunningly homosexual Saturday of my life. Gayer, even, than the Saturday after my 28th birthday, which involved a topless multi-chick makeout session in a hottub. (That there is clearly a story for another day.)

I'm not counting on any lesbionic action this weekend (though would not be disappointed if some came my way.) No, this Saturday's gayness is about two things: The Oscars and booze.

First thing in the morning, O and I plan to plunk ourselves down in a theater with our complimentary drinks and popcorn and the intent of watching four of the five Best Picture contenders. In a row. Yeah. For the low low price of $30, you're more than welcome to join us. (Provided that you're not a douchebag, that is.)

Oscar Madness = pretty gay

Gayer still...by far, even...is what comes after.

We'll be opting out of the marathon's last film, Little Miss Sunshine, to meet up with Bisexual Bobby and hit Joe Almighty's Second Annual Blarg Hop.

I'm quite excited about this year's event, especially considering how much of last year's I don't remember. Looking forward to new memories. Or memory gaps, as the case may be. It'll be quite nice to have a co-vagina along this year, too. Matching drinks with burly mens all by my lonesome maybe wasn't the best plan last time around. Lesson learned.

This year I'm ready. This year I have a plan...

2007 Blarghop Goals:

  • I will not barf on my good winter coat. Again.
  • I will obtain phone numbers of any and all errant straight boys present. Again.
  • I will steal Farmboyz semen to freeze for future impregnation.
  • I will convince people I met last year that I TOTALLY remember them.
  • I really won't barf on my coat. Really. Or in the cab, either!
  • I will not give interviews. (Why did I do that? Oh yeah...I was hammered!)
  • I will find a hot chick for Bobby to make out with.
  • I will get someone to take pictures of Bobby making out with hot chick.
  • I will try my best not to look completely cracked out and/or mentally deficient in photographs (this one is a stretch, admittedly...see below for a stunning example.)
  • I will make my mama proud. Again.
  • I will write another recap afterwards.

Again, any and all non-douches are welcome to join the carnage...er...party. For those of you who can't make it (especially the ones I really, really wish could), tune in next week for all the lurid details we can piece together. And pray for us. Oy...

Helen gets #, by Farmboy T, Blarg Hop '06

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8 Comments:

Blogger John said...

i'm there in spirit. Although, I'm protesting the fact that Children of Men did'nt get shiite. We can make out after, right?

8:10 PM  
Blogger Red7Eric said...

Oscar madness is pretty damn gay. Just remember, when you're watching Babel, and you've past the two hour mark and eagerly waiting for the film to make its all-important point -- don't get your hopes up.

8:21 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

Is ths Pete the Chi Chi's bartender?

....calling Pete right now

10:17 PM  
Blogger GayProf said...

Even though I won't be with you in person, you can rest assured that I will be drinking.

10:22 AM  
Blogger Earl Cootie said...

I wish I could be there. Damn, that sounds like fun. Of course, I'd have to get an early start to help overcome my, uh, discomfort with crowds. And I always end up doing things I should be embarrassed about at these sorts of things. (Should be.)

Have fun, be safe, get lots of pics.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Earl Cootie said...

Oh, and don't barf.

11:06 AM  
Blogger BigAssBelle said...

oh! a co-vagina!! how fabulous!!

10:50 PM  
Blogger Becky C. said...

Well I hope Bisexual Bobby is worth missing Little Miss Sunshine.It is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I am hoping against odds it gets Best Picture.

I wouldn't miss it unless some lesbionic action came up:)

~Becky

1:58 AM  

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