Thursday, October 26, 2006

Reason #27,344 that I will not reproduce

I'm taking a class today at work. Because of my firm's partnership with a certain New York City public school that shall remain numberless, there are several teachers and school administrators enrolled in the class along with us corporate loser-drone types.

A few minutes ago I had the pleasure of observing as one of the teachers, a cute gay guy seated directly across the conference table from me, stuck his right index finger into his right ear canal, dug around intensely for a few seconds, and then casually scraped the goo-covered finger along his bottom teeth.

I am very tempted to ask Mr. Waxmouth if he attended New York City public schools as a child, however my deeply ingrained sense of business etiquette prevents me from doing so. (Not that it really matters.) Instead, I think I'm going to buy him a thank you card on behalf of my vagina during our lunch break, since he's helped so much to ensure that it'll never go through the ungodly trauma of having a baby shoved through it.


Blogger GayProf said...

The words -- the WORDS -- I don't have the words to express my dismay. No wonder kids aren't learning anything in school. They are too distracted by their teachers' lack of social etiquette.

2:12 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...


Another reason I wash my hands obsessive compulsively.

2:14 PM  
Blogger farmboyz said...

Say what you will, but in heaven, there are plans drawn up for a lovely child with big beautiful eyes full of wonder and wisdom and wilding who must pass through your vagina or none at all.

9:57 PM  
Blogger Helen the Felon said...

GayProf: My thoughts exactly. And you should have seen how cute and gay this guy was! It was so awful.

Big Daddy: You would be proud of how often I wash my hands now. And how infrequently I get sick, as a result. This incident made me want to shower with Borax.

Farmboy T: Okay, fine...but I'll only do it if I can use a Farmboyz semen cocktail in my turkey baster.

8:59 AM  
Blogger David said...

I think I'm going to vomit.

1:12 AM  
Blogger Da Nator said...

C'mon, people - don't you know earwax is the new Tina?

2:51 PM  
Blogger Red7Eric said...

OMG, that's hilarious. Love you, love your blog.

2:33 PM  

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