Reason #27,344 that I will not reproduce
A few minutes ago I had the pleasure of observing as one of the teachers, a cute gay guy seated directly across the conference table from me, stuck his right index finger into his right ear canal, dug around intensely for a few seconds, and then casually scraped the goo-covered finger along his bottom teeth.
I am very tempted to ask Mr. Waxmouth if he attended New York City public schools as a child, however my deeply ingrained sense of business etiquette prevents me from doing so. (Not that it really matters.) Instead, I think I'm going to buy him a thank you card on behalf of my vagina during our lunch break, since he's helped so much to ensure that it'll never go through the ungodly trauma of having a baby shoved through it.