Monday, May 15, 2006

Helen does Home Improvement

While demolishing walls in my old loft (again) this weekend, I made an important discovery. Pay attention, ladies.

A balconette bra, such as this one... completely and totally unsuitable for manual labor that involves any amount of bending and/or heavy lifting. Hoo boy. There were just boobs all over the damn place. But, you know, not in a good way.

In spite of my hyperactive titties, though, I managed to move a few hundred pounds of sheetrock out of the loft without hurting myself (much), and only broke one nail in the process. I am woman, bitches.

I so can't wait for this move to be over.


Anonymous Anna said...

You know what other bras aren't good for sweaty manual labor?

Lace ones. Or partially lace ones.

Damn things itch like CRAZY when they get sweaty.

4:04 PM  
Blogger Da Nator said...


Hey, just use duct tape. That'll stabilize 'em.

4:40 PM  
Blogger Limecrete said...

Hyperactive Titties is going on my band name list. Who wouldn't go to see that show?

4:49 PM  
Blogger Big Dan said...

Yeah, I don't think I own a balconette bra. I prefer sports bras to keep yard dogs in line.

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Balconettes, while attractive, do lack in the support dept. And especially around a certain time of the month. The "spillage" effect is such fun!


1:09 PM  
Blogger GayProf said...

You need to give Jane Russell a call and see if she can hook you up with one of those 18-hour- cross-your-heart deals. I am just saying.

1:28 PM  
Blogger DMo said...

When it comes to "boobs all over the place," is there really a bad way?

I would argue no.

2:14 PM  
Blogger Shan said...

Girl: Did you just say "jubble"? That can't be a real word.

Guy: It's like, silent onomatopoeia.

Girl: There's no such thing as silent onomatopoeia. The very definition of the word "onomatopoeia" contradicts silence.

Guy: Well, it's like the sound that boobs would make if they made sound. They'd go "jubble, jubble, jubble."

Girl: I'm afraid I'm going to have to smack you now. Seriously.

6:56 PM  
Blogger dusty said...

Thanks for the tip o wise one..I would think a sports bra would do the trick..but thats just moi.

11:05 AM  

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