Thursday, May 04, 2006

I'm gonna make it after all

Hoo boy. Your little friend has been mighty busy in the last week or so...between looking for (and finding!) an apartment, packing, hanging out with surprise visitors, rocking out with my...um...vagina (not) out, trying to find a guy who can maintain an erection after three beers, partying with the Post Show kids and their posse of hott hotties, pretending to work, snarfing jalapeno poppers, meeting cool newbies, being utterly disgusted by everything Tom Cruise is and represents, panicking over the sad state of my finances, and mollycoddling my sad, lonely cat...a bitch is tired. Dang.

Tired, but happy. And, like, cognizant, or something. The unbelievably spectacular weather here in New York today undoubtedly has something to do with that, as does the fact that I'll soon be living on my own, in an apartment WITH A BATHTUB, for the first time in four years. (If you live in NY, you understand how fucking YOOGE that is. If not...trust me. YOOOOOOOGE.)

I think this book has something to do with it, too. Read it. I'm too atarded right now to explain why. You'll see.

Okay, nappy nappy time...Cross yer fingers that I don't sleepfart here in the office.

10 Comments:

Blogger GayProf said...

trying to find a guy who can maintain an erection after three beers

You need to find a young penis. Not illegal young, but freshly-out-of-college-young.

Congrats on the tub!

5:47 PM  
Blogger MEK the Bear said...

Helen, you sound almost...dare I say...Giddy!?

Truly, the world is coming to an end!

*Smile*, seriously, I'm glad things are going so well for you, hopefully I'll have the same luck as you in the apartment department.

7:07 PM  
Blogger Aethlos said...

i can sta-hard after 8 beers, two shots, and 4 grams of coke... :)

8:21 PM  
Blogger Big Dan said...

Have you ever SEEN a vagina up close? When you're drunk it kinda looks like this:

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y22/bygdan/6f6a06b7.jpg

I Dare you too keep it up after looking that in the face.

9:51 AM  
Blogger Da Nator said...

Congratulations on finding the new place! Always a trial, and an achievement...

P.S.: I have seen a fair number of vaginas up close. They do not look like that. Well, except one of my exes'.

1:26 PM  
Blogger Sangroncito said...

A bathtub! I love long baths with a good book. It makes coming home so much sweeter.

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anna said...

You're a hott hottie!

Congrats on the apartment find, and good luck finding a sta-hard penis!

11:37 AM  
Blogger David said...

Definitely yooooooge.

4:09 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Congrats!

7:02 PM  
Blogger c said...

I would say this: if you can fine a man who can pop a boner after six whiskeys, MARRY him.

11:10 AM  

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