Bye Bye Love

Storm Damnation

aka Stinky

aka Babycat

September 1995 - April 11, 2006

Stormy put up an incredibly brave fight against her cancer over the last six months. She was happy and full of energy during most of that time, and never complained about the visits to the vet, or the gross-tasting medication, or even the pain. In the last two weeks, her health declined rapidly, and I made the decision to end her suffering today. With the help of two wonderful veterinary specialists, she passed away in her mommy's arms with her sister K.C. close by.

Say what you will about animals not being people, about the loss being lesser somehow. But people don't love you unconditionally. They just don't. People don't trust you completely and unquestionably. And they sure as hell don't fall asleep purring in your armpit every night.

Ten years is a long time to have someone...anyone...in your life, and living without her will be a painful adjustment for K.C. and me. My relationship with her outlasted so many others...boyfriends, roommates, friends...plenty of people came and went, but Stormy was always happy to see me when I came home at the end of the day. And believe it or not, this cat saved my life once. I, quite literally, would not be here without her. And yet somehow, now I am. It's still nearly impossible to believe.

The things I learned and gained from her are innumerable. She survived and overcame the horrible abuse she suffered as a tiny kitten, and over time, learned to love and trust me. She gave me hope that maybe someday I'll be able to do the same. She was graceful and sweet, even in the midst of terrible discomfort. As a mere person, I can only aspire to that kind of strength and humility. Stormycat also taught me something my mother never could...to pick up my dirty socks and underwear off the floor. It didn't occur to Mom that if she really wanted to school me, she should drag said items into her litter box and pee on them when they were left lying around. Storm was smart like that. She was a gorgeous animal, an adorable, pure soul, and I'm lucky to have known her. As godawful as I feel right now, I wouldn't trade my time with her for anything.

I am comforted by a few things that I believe to be true. I believe Stormy is finally back with Jordan, our boy cat, the love of her life, who died over four years ago. She missed him horribly. I know I did the right thing by letting her go when I did. Cancer is evil, and no one should suffer like that. I know that there are far worse things that happen in life. I also know that good can come of those things, if one chooses to make it so.

Many people...friends, family, roommates, co-workers, and even bloggers I've never met, have been unbelievably kind and amazing over the past few months. I don't even know to properly express my gratitude for that, so I will just say thank you, all of you. Your supportive words, thoughts, assistance, and understanding have been immeasurably appreciated.

Fortunate little bitch that I am, I know that some of you will ask me in the coming days if there's anything else you can do to help. Honestly, I'm okay. But if you have an urge to do something for the greater good and all that, please make a donation in Storm's name to these guys. BARC is a no-kill shelter that helps find well-screened homes for hundreds of dogs and cats every year. They're good people. And again...thank you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some more crying to do, and a Xanax to swallow.

Bye, little pooper. Mommy loves you.