Note to self: buy batteries
Potential outfits carried to work in huge shopping bag: 4
Hours spent discussing potential outfits with Kit: 1.5
Hours killed between end of workday and beginning of Big Event: 4.5
Money spent during aforementioned killed hours: $40
Money spent on ticket to Big Event: $15
Beers consumed: 1.75
Time spent talking to boy I went through all of this to see: None
Cab ride home: Interminable. Costly.
Hours of sleep: 4
Next steps: Drink heavily. Forget entire incident. Get another cat.
Hours spent discussing potential outfits with Kit: 1.5
Hours killed between end of workday and beginning of Big Event: 4.5
Money spent during aforementioned killed hours: $40
Money spent on ticket to Big Event: $15
Beers consumed: 1.75
Time spent talking to boy I went through all of this to see: None
Cab ride home: Interminable. Costly.
Hours of sleep: 4
Next steps: Drink heavily. Forget entire incident. Get another cat.
posted by Helen the Felon at 11:26 AM
8 Comments:
Don't tell me someone stood you up?! Alright, give me there home address and phone number and me and my boys will fly to New York tonight and teach that punk a lesson he'll never forget! No one, and I mean NO ONE puts Helen in the corner!
Awww, thanks MEK. No need to jump on a plane, though...we both showed up...it's just a bit more complicated and WAY more retarded than a simple stand-up. Glurk.
Can I have a raincheck with you and your boys though? I mean, some asshole's bound to deserve "the treatment" at some point...
Had a rough night myself - am currently nursing both a hangover and my pride. And am going back to sleep now.
I'd take a beating just for the hell of it, I mean if it'd make you feel any better.
Heavy drinking is my answer for absolutely everything, I say go with that. I also think you could use some kind of asian cuisine even if it is a long walk to get some. Haha, I said get some.
Next steps: Drink heavily. Forget entire incident. Get another cat.
Don't forget to take up knitting.
Yeah, my first thought was not "he didn't show" but rather "retartedness and non-speaking was had by all". Nothing like a day of worry and prep-work only to not even TALK to the guy. I am very familiar with this scenario.
Bleccchh. You're right. Forget the incident.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Your conclusion to string of events is so funny (as well as comments). Helen, a woman with your wonderful sense of humor will not be alone long.
Best. Blog Post. Title. EVER.
Hahahahahahahaha!
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