Thursday, March 30, 2006

Note to self: buy batteries

Potential outfits carried to work in huge shopping bag: 4

Hours spent discussing potential outfits with Kit: 1.5

Hours killed between end of workday and beginning of Big Event: 4.5

Money spent during aforementioned killed hours: $40

Money spent on ticket to Big Event: $15

Beers consumed: 1.75

Time spent talking to boy I went through all of this to see: None

Cab ride home: Interminable. Costly.

Hours of sleep: 4

Next steps: Drink heavily. Forget entire incident. Get another cat.


Blogger MEK the Bear said...

Don't tell me someone stood you up?! Alright, give me there home address and phone number and me and my boys will fly to New York tonight and teach that punk a lesson he'll never forget! No one, and I mean NO ONE puts Helen in the corner!

2:16 PM  
Blogger Helen the Felon said...

Awww, thanks MEK. No need to jump on a plane, though...we both showed's just a bit more complicated and WAY more retarded than a simple stand-up. Glurk.

Can I have a raincheck with you and your boys though? I mean, some asshole's bound to deserve "the treatment" at some point...

2:30 PM  
Blogger Shan said...

Had a rough night myself - am currently nursing both a hangover and my pride. And am going back to sleep now.

1:17 AM  
Blogger Big Dan said...

I'd take a beating just for the hell of it, I mean if it'd make you feel any better.

Heavy drinking is my answer for absolutely everything, I say go with that. I also think you could use some kind of asian cuisine even if it is a long walk to get some. Haha, I said get some.

9:22 AM  
Blogger Limecrete said...

Next steps: Drink heavily. Forget entire incident. Get another cat.

Don't forget to take up knitting.

10:26 AM  
Blogger Sangroncito said...

Men can't even be trusted to raise the toilet seat, much less show up.

12:04 PM  
Blogger missbhavens said...

Yeah, my first thought was not "he didn't show" but rather "retartedness and non-speaking was had by all". Nothing like a day of worry and prep-work only to not even TALK to the guy. I am very familiar with this scenario.

Bleccchh. You're right. Forget the incident.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

8:10 PM  
Blogger Rocky said...

Your conclusion to string of events is so funny (as well as comments). Helen, a woman with your wonderful sense of humor will not be alone long.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Anna said...

Best. Blog Post. Title. EVER.


12:23 PM  

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