Retard of the Week
(finders fee for help) Looking Help from the Cosa Nostra or similar
Reply to: (redacted by me)
Date: 2006-01-23, 12:50PM EST
Ok, help me out here. A finder's fee awarded to successful contact.
I am just an ordinary Joe in desperate need for any contact with the Cosa Nostra et. al..
No -- I am not some law enforcement officer or F B I person pretending as a means of entrapping them
No -- I'm not some married loser who wants to hire some one to "knock-off" his wife
No -- I'm not some naive reporter or NPR type special assignment essayists hoping to find a story for NPR or "This American Life"
No -- I'm not asking for anything il-legal
I'm an ordinary Joe who lives, works, and goes to school, but in desperate need of help and I think the Cosa Nostra people are the right type to offer it.
And, please, no "you dont find them - they find you" bullsh*t.
If I could, I would leave my telephone number, but as it is I can only leave myself available via email.
Serious replies only.
A finder's fee will be given out to successful contact.
I'm not even gonna comment. Too easy...ducks in a bucket.
I'm just gonna, uh, congratulate the Retard of the Week. Yeah. Nice work, big guy.
And then, of course, I'm gonna make a phone call to my Uncle Vito.
(What can I say? I need the money.)