Monday, October 10, 2005

My booty lies over the ocean...

I Wonder Mondays were borne of my tendency to start the week in a state of drooling idiocy. Since all I could do was wonder about random shit, I decided thus to spew it forth, sharing my stupidity with you, my loving reader(s). Now that I Wonder Mondays have officially jumped the shark and I'm still completely 'tarded out, I have not much to contribute.

So today, in the interest of keeping everyone entertained with minimal effort on my part, I'm turning the forum over to you with a question that was recently raised by an acquaintance of mine:

How far would you go for a booty call? (And by "how far," I'm referring to physical distance and/or methods of, um...procurement.)

If you've gone to great measures and/or trodden many miles to get a hot piece of sookie-sookie action, kindly share.

And don't you worry...Helen takes anonymous comments, so your mama won't find out what a slut you are. (Because you know she reads this.)

Ready, go.


Anonymous js said...

I once accepted an invitation to join a new age cult, and pretended to be able to see auras just to bag this hot woman who invited me to their meeting. But when I got to the room and was introduced to a large circle of similarly desperate guys, I realized she was just a shill. I ducked out to make a phone call and never went back.

4:26 PM  
Blogger GayProf said...

How far would I go for a booty call? How far is it from Texas to Anderson Cooper's apartment?

I know he must be sitting around waiting for a nerdy academic . . .

4:46 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

From Houston Street up to 100th.

East Side only.

That's how far.

7:20 PM  
Blogger P/O said...

guess it depends on the booty... not all booty is created equal, you know.

12:17 PM  
Blogger P/O said...

just had to add that the word verification thing i had to type in order to post my last comment was "uugai." ha!

12:18 PM  
Blogger Will said...

First... I MISS YOU!

Second... my porn is in the living room, so I'd say I'd go about 10-20 feet.

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Big Dan said...

I once took a phone call from a girl while having sex with a girl who had a smelly puss, it was a godsend. I did a little whores bath in Miss Rottencrotch's sink (tops and tails) and went over the other girls house where I proceeded to get some anal action even. And of course I did it all bare back. Ah, the things you do when you're young dumb and full of come. Fine, I'm 27 and it was last weekend and the second girl fucked my ass. Happy now??

4:21 PM  
Anonymous Aaron said...

I don't know if other people are happy, but I'm frankly horrified.

10:48 PM  
Blogger Helen the Felon said...

js: Having known you for 13 years, I am not at all surprised to find out you joined a cult for a piece of ass. I'm just surprised that this is the first I'm hearing of it.

GayProf: Anderson Cooper should be so lucky.

Joe: Amen, sister.

P/O: Double amen, sister.

Will: I miss you too. Clearly we needa get you outta the house. Like, immediately.

Big Dan: If your girlfriend hadn't already admonished you for that one, I would have to. Gross.
(I laughed, of course.)

Aaron: Not sure if you're horrified by Dan's comment, by the idea of travelling for booty calls, or something else. I'll buy you a beer of apology soon, to cover all possible bases.

I like these collaborative efforts. They seem to bring out the best in my readers, whilst satisfying my inner slacker at the same time. Everybody wins!

11:29 AM  
Blogger GayProf said...


Slacker or not, as long as you are around, we all win. . .

12:21 PM  
Anonymous Big Dan said...

I toned it down before I submitted it even. Sorry, but it was hot!

1:46 PM  
Anonymous charles said...

Go? They come to me.


PS - my "word verification" to post this is DRYPEG. How hot (and chafing) is that?

11:58 PM  

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