Open letter to a fellow straphanger

Dear Not-Otherwise-Unattractive Middle-Aged Woman on the 5 Train,

When dressing for work, you may want to consider wearing tops that actually cover your relatively sizable boobs. This is especially true in your case, considering the startling amount of hair you've got growing on those things.

I mean, I certainly think it's okay to exude a certain amount of sex appeal in the office...but when your mostly-bare jugs look like the fuzzy tops of baby heads, I'm guessing you probably shouldn't hold your breath waiting for that promotion.

Sincerely,


Helen Damnation



p.s. I'm telling you this, dear lady, because I care. No, really. -HD