What, exactly, is WRONG with you people? Huh? First George Dubya Part Deux, and now this...
First things Carrie Underwood needs to do as reigning American Idol are A) fire her stylist, and B) cut back on the refined sugars, for fuck's sake. Who puts plaid on a fat girl? Damn.
Don't get me wrong...Carrie can sing. But bottom line, Carrie...I knew Kelly Clarkson. Kelly Clarkson was a friend of mine. And you, miss, are no Kelly Clarkson. [editor's note: no, I do not actually know Kelly Clarkson, nor is she a friend of mine. If you don't recognize that quote...sorry, I can't help you.]
As for Bo Vice...er...BICE...the kid is the perfect mix of Aaron Lazar and Donnie Van Zant...what more could you ask for? (Oh, wait...a bad dye job and a vagina. Right.) I take comfort in the fact that he's famous now either way. I'm sure he'll be knocking up supermodels before the year's out. Hang in there, Bo! This here urban freak squad loves you!