The Edumacation of Helen D.

So I've been trying to find time to recap my weekend for y'all, in between pretending to work and whatnot...and then I realized that most of the details of it weren't going to be interesting to anyone but the usual crew and me. Thus, I decided to summarize the top ten lessons learned during that action-packed couple of days:

1. The more attractive a man is, the less capable of coherent speech I will be in his presence. (He was so perfect that I managed to glurk out about half a syllable before I turned purple and dashed away. Whupps.)
2. The upstairs lounge at Piano's doesn't suck anywhere near as much as the rest of that joint. We caught James Wolfe's set up there on Friday and were thoroughly impressed (think Rufus Wainwright, if he were straight and had chosen guitar over piano.)
3. Coco speaks AMAZING Italian. Ask her, if you don't believe me. While you're at it, ask her if you can smell her new bag. G'head.
4. When it comes down to zombies vs. robots, my bet's on the zombies, and I'm more than capable of debating the issue. At length. Try me.
5. Speaking of zombies...sometimes I like remakes, but the original is usually better.
6. I really WASN'T ready to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Goddammit.
7. Do the Right Thing still holds up, and still makes me cry. I miss Ossie Davis, and sometimes I wanna be Rosie Perez (that opening sequence, where she's throwin' DOWN to Fight the Power...oh man...)
8. AIDS Walk New York is a total clusterfuck, and absolutely NOT the place for one such as myself, who is claustrophobic as hell and hates damn near everyone. I cut out at the first available exit, as I figured that killing someone at a well-intended charity event for a vital cause was somewhat counterproductive. Next year I'll just donate money. Yeesh.
9. Crash is an excellent film. I needed a martini afterwards, and anything that necessitates martinis is a-okay in my book.
10. Bloggers are the new rockstars. Especially famous gay New York bloggers. I know this because upon encountering said famous gay New York blogger at Sunday brunch in Chelsea, I got all squealy and shy and atarded. What resulted was this. Well...that, a great deal of schoolgirly giggling (from Charles and Coco, of course), and a remarkable upsurgence in traffic on my blog. Thanks, Joe, for all of the above! (And god love Richie White for putting up with our senseless, embarrassing shenanigans yet again, without delivering even a single bitchslap. We heart you Richie!)

Aaaaaaand I'm spent. Tomorrow I'll post the Vegas photos, and you can make up your own stories about them.