Friday, November 12, 2004

Wah, boo hoo, poor Helen, yada yada

Oh jesus...I'm about to go all girly, so if you're squeamish about such things you should stop reading now and go watch football or something. No hard feelings.

I'm trying to get over this breakup. Really I am. I'm spending time with my friends, keeping busy, meeting new people, planning a trip overseas, the whole bit. I put the pictures in a folder by themselves and I try not to look at them. I erased as much of him as I could. Sometimes I feel a bit better...five or ten minutes will go by where I don't think about it and I don't notice the ache in my gut. Mostly, though, I feel like hell, and it's not letting up at all. I had an awful dream about him this morning just before I got up that it took a couple of hours to shake off...it's just gotta stop soon.

I could go on about it, but honestly, who cares? People get their hearts broken all the time. Most people's lives and relationships don't turn out the way they thought they would. There's nothing special about me that makes it somehow worse. I'm just gonna have to suck it up and deal until this weight starts to lift off my chest and I can get through a day without crying.

I guess it's just a universal thing...heartbreak is hearbreak, pain is pain, no matter who you are or where you go. Maybe once I get through it I'll understand life a little more, or something. (Fuck. Probably not.) In the meantime, I'll try not to bore/nauseate y'all with too much more of this cri-zap.

"Losing love is like a window in your heart...everybody sees you're blown apart, everybody hears the wind blow." -PS

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